The One where the Bug takes on the Prince of Pakistan

The one where the Bug takes on the Prince of Pakistan

Woah! For a scary moment there, it seemed like I had run out of topics to whine about. After all, there is only so much this bug can whine about commercialism, lack of brains or application thereof, horrid lyrics and fat people on the scene. And then lo and behold, an album found its way to me which, to my utter amazement, contains all these irritants and so many more.

Shehzada Faisal’s College Ki Larki is an album that is so bad it is good. It is worth having because (1) it marks the nadir of Pakistani pop music (it makes Avish and Saleem Javed look good) and (2) it will (unintentionally) make you laugh uncontrollably. One need just look at the cover and the chubby Prince’s munificent smile and one starts feeling lightheaded. One can then turn over the CD and just read the titles alone to get a feel of the album: College ki larki, Ideal Ki Talaash, Larkiyon ka college, Pyaar Hua, Pyaar hogaya, Pyaari pyaari larkiyan, Roop ka jalwa, Sarak ke kinaare, Soni ji kuri, Shaadi ka iraada and Uss larki ko. If all of these do not make you laugh at the sub-mental and lack of intelligence (note that there is a song titled Pyaar Hua and another titled Pyaar Hogaya) then consider that there is a song titled Larkon ka Sapna on it as well. Mayhaps it be an attempt to cater to boys who swing the other way?

For a moment I thought that this just might be the ultimate lafantar album available this side of Ibrar, which may just be a good thing. But then one listens to it and all of that excitement melts away. The less said about the putrid nature of the album the better. What ultimately remains stunning is that the Shahzada had to collaborate with his brother Altamash (who according to their website ‘bulbs [sic] up the feelings and emotions of the New Generation in a very impressive and affective way’) to come up with such pap. One person can be misguided but two? The album is complete in the sense that it is complete crap in every way. The liner notes provide a good enough reflection of where Shahzada Faisal is coming from: the Pyaara Pyaara Larka on the album sleeve talks about his inspiration: “Words from Shahzada Faisal: the day I remember when I placed my sweet little fingers on my sweet little piano which my father brought it for me just for entertainment. I was only three years old when the first tune which comes out of it hits my heart. I discove [sic] a new world with new dimensions. This is the world of music. I entered into this world and forgot my existing world. Even I forgot myself.”

Suffice it to say that this album is a sad creation. What is sadder still is that it was recorded at Mekaal Hasan’s Digital Fidelity Studios and even Mekaal, the self proclaimed guru of serious art and who is usually quite outspoken (normally behind people’s backs), did not bother to tell poor Shahzada off. Guess even musical gurus have to make a quick buck.

Lastly, the album really makes one wonder what was precisely in our Prince’s mind when he was releasing it. I imagine the Shahzada tried his hand at re-inventing himself as a great lothario. For my money, for all the Pakistani money in Switzerland, he fails. Shahzada Faisal can write to me and explain what precisely made him inflict this album upon the world or, as his own case may be, to release this chick magnet of an album. Did it work? I can as ever be found at KiraMakora@hotmail.com All of you can of course write to him at shahzadafaisal@hotmail.com or phone him (first(?) artist to supply his phone number on the album sleeve) and complain if you spent some money on the album. He even has a site at www.shahzadafaisal.com . Penning off, I know the poor Shahzada was too easy a target. Next article, I promise to take on some giant of the industry. I hear Fakhr-e-Alam may be working on another album of songs. Maybe I’ll do him. For now, me is out of here.

(Published in Sunday Magazine,-Jan 12 2003)